


Memory

by imlikat



Series: Kakashi/Sasuke short fics [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imlikat/pseuds/imlikat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A memory, and a regret, and a sense of the circularity of time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory

Memory  
  
  
  
In the beginning, there was a memory. It usually didn't happen like that, Kakashi knew; memories usually came after.  
  
But it was a memory that began this. A memory, and a regret, and a sense of the circularity of time.  
  
Sasuke sat quietly at his table after dinner, pushing the remains of his meal around on his plate in an uncharacteristic nervous fidget. Kakashi cleared his throat, readying himself to ask Sasuke what he had on his mind, and Sasuke looked up quickly.  
  
Too quickly, maybe. The look on Sasuke's face when he looked up from his dinner plate startled Kakashi into silence.   
  
He remembered that look. He remembered feeling it on his own face countless times, eating lunch with his own sensei in the man's sunlit kitchen. Once the meal was finished, Kakashi had always felt somewhat uneasy, as if he needed an excuse to stay longer, as if Minato would shoo him out and go about his duties, and Kakashi would be left to his own devices again. He always hoped that Minato would ask him to stay, would ask him to train, to go for a walk, to help him with hated paperwork, to paint his living room, _anything_ to continue the visit.   
  
Occasionally, Minato did ask. And Kakashi always said yes, though he made a show of balking sometimes. Those invitations came fewer and farther between as the days went by, until finally his sensei confronted him with his suspicions - and with a painful gentleness made it very, very clear that though Kakashi was one of his precious people, his _most important friend_ , in fact, there would never be anything more than that between them.   
  
One month later, the Fourth Hokage was dead, and it didn't really matter, anyway. Kakashi had comforted himself with the thought that if they were closer, it would have hurt that much more.  
  
The visceral memory of the aching tug in his chest that only got worse when Minato was around hit him hard. He studied Sasuke's face - the way he parted his lips, then closed them in an aborted impulse to speak - and he took pity on the young man.  
  
"I made you dinner. I think you owe me now," Kakashi said, and he tugged his mask back up over his nose. Sasuke frowned quizzically, a familiar line forming between his eyebrows.  
  
"I've got some kunai that need sharpening. You can help me," Kakashi explained, and Sasuke's forehead smoothed. Kakashi remembered the relief he must be feeling now; sharpening weapons could take anywhere from fifteen minutes to two hours. "And if you'll help me polish them, maybe I'll cook for you tomorrow, too."  
  
Sasuke snorted disparagingly and Kakashi almost laughed. They could have been reading from a script - except that Kakashi wouldn't let this reiteration of the tale come to the same conclusion. He could imagine himself feeling more for the damaged Uchiha, wondered if he might not already, just a little, though he had to admit that he was surprised and touched that Sasuke would fall for him, of all people.  
  
Then again, it did make sense. Time did seem to be circular in Konoha, events seemed to repeat themselves, at least with things that mattered. So it made sense that Sasuke would fall in love with him, unloveable as he was. He wondered if Naruto and Sakura would suffer the same fate that Jiraiya and Tsunade had - the shifting, playful, annoyed love that had them pushing each other away and running to each other in turn through the years until it was too late to do anything about that, either. He didn't think so - Naruto had an uncanny knack of knocking events out of their predictable loops.  
  
Loops, loops... he realized he was thinking in circles and Sasuke was still staring at him. Well, let him stare - Kakashi wouldn't stop him. These days, he understood why Minato had rejected him, and though he had a lot of the same reasons - he held an important position in Konoha, Sasuke was barely over half his age, he was still considered Sasuke's sensei on paper, though Team 7 was never truly reformed.  
  
But because of the memory of his own pain, he wouldn't do that to Sasuke, who was just beginning to heal the wounds caused by his need for revenge, and the accomplishment of it.   
  
He smiled under his mask as he felt a little of that old pain ease away. He had loved Minato. It had hurt, it had been torture, it had haunted him for years upon years. But it was over. And because he had loved Minato, because of that memory from his own younger days, he had the chance, at least, to try again.  
  
  
  
\---end


End file.
